While facilitating a recent development initiative for Courageous Leaders we explored the importance of consciously responding. We differentiated it from the alternative of impulsively reacting and this created brilliant clarity for everyone.
Understand that we each turn up to situations with our intellect, our thoughts and our emotions; and it is often the 
emotions that get in our way. So we could do well to invest energy into creating awareness of how we turn up. Be mindful of our emotions as we walk into a conversation.
Then as we proceed in the conversation be aware of the thoughts and feelings that pop up along the way – and make a conscious decision of how we want to handle them. Consciousness takes great presence and great personal discipline.
Most important to our conscious choices of how we handle these thoughts and feelings is to acknowledge that they are neither good or bad. Stop investing time and energy in this kind of internal debate which often leads to “bashing” ourselves up. Instead acknowledge the feelings that have turned up and know they ARE just there. Make it OK to feel them. Then, rather than impulsively reacting and allowing these feelings to escape in your interactions; use mindfulness to consciously decide how you want to respond. When responding you make a decision to share your feelings constructively.
Is this easy? NO! – it is the discipline of a courageous leader.
Impulsive reaction more often takes the form of either angry and aggressive behaviour or submissive and disappointed behaviour. Neither of these lead to constructive interactions.
Courageous leaders take responsibility for consciously responding; they recognise the downfalls of impulsively reacting.
