Relationships get bogged down in stuff and the stuff becomes more important than the relationship. A recent experience with a member of our Courageous Leaders Community highlighted this perfectly. Once we reaffirmed with each other that our relationship was strong, that the contextual issues we were facing were important and needed to be resolved however they were never going to be bigger and more important than our relationship – it freed us to have a number of brilliantly honest conversations where we each owned our stuff and shared it without fear of judgement or reprisal.
People need to find ways to do this with greater regularity in the workplace. Instead they fear what will happen when they raise the stuff and share their thoughts and feelings – so they don’t have the conversation and the tension remains unresolved. This is why the Australian business culture is fraught with avoidance……..we would rather say nothing and hope it all goes away and then we don’t need to talk about it or hear it from the other person.
Courageous Leaders make the relationships more important than the stuff and so can courageously talk about the stuff, resolve it and not let it get in the way of a strengthened relationship.
