As your humanness erupts and the chatter in your head explodes this is where receiving feedback effectively is truly challenging. It calls for emotional resilience and listening with the intent to really get into the shoes of the other person . It can never be about trying to prove to them that their perception is wrong. Listening is the second part of receiving feedback effectively: 
To listen with this kind of intent engage in these 5 critical behaviours:
- Be attentive to what they say and how they say it by:
- watching their body language for inconsistencies
- notice the words they choose and the emotion shared
- clarify your understanding by asking questions
- paraphrase what you hear to check your understanding
- Take complete responsibility – by making sure you:
- don’t justify your behaviour and actions
- don’t defend what you actually did
- don’t look for ways to lay blame on someone else/ systems
- don’t judge and let inner chatter get in the way of really listening
- Empathise with the person giving you feedback
- watch for their feelings – through body language and choice of words
- have the courage to reflect on this and share…eg. “I can see you are angry…..””
- ask questions to show you do understand their point of view
- Appreciate their courage by specifically thanking them for their honesty
- Summarise
- use their words
- share the key ideas and thoughts you heard
- link their feedback to other experiences
- gain their permission for time to reflect before deciding on what to do with the feedback
