Striving towards Self Mastery is a brave and challenging journey. In our experience, there are five common mistakes when developing Self Mastery:
- Judging Others
After discovering the journey of Self Mastery and choosing to embark upon it, it is common to look at others through your newly acquired lens. Instead of focusing on you and your behaviour, things you are in control of, you start judging and comparing the behaviour of others and identifying a whole host of things they are doing not as well as they could.Be conscious of this and choose to demonstrate the power of self-awareness and living by your values. But don’t judge others for not behaving in that way. - Feeling Overwhelmed
There can be a lot to remember and apply when you’re working on Self Mastery. It can be overwhelming and obvious that you are operating very much in the consciously incompetent space. This is true for anything new that you learn.Breaking things down into smaller chunks helps – choose one or two things a week to work on and work on them every day until you feel confident. Then add a couple of new things. It is better to master a few things than try to juggle all the balls at once and end up dropping everything as you transition to unconsciously competent. - Been there, done that
Many of us are under the illusion that we have just recently developed into the person we were always meant to be and that we think we will be like that from here on in.Often individuals who have done some self mastery work in the past operate under this premise and feel that any further ongoing work is unnecessary as they have done it all before and they are now their ultimate “self”. However they fail to recognise that the person they were then is not the person they are now, nor is it the person they are going to be in the future. At the very least they will gain more life experience but potentially also new perspectives.Self Mastery is a lifelong pursuit. For we have never become, we are always in the act of becoming. - “This is just the way I am”
This is a pretty common excuse from someone avoiding taking personal responsibility for their actions. This fatalistic attitude can come from a couple of places, fear is one of them.Self mastery comes with its risks. It requires a level of honesty with yourself and you may not like what you see. But it is in seeing that half the battle is won and the rewards on a personal and professional level are worth it. When you know different, you can do different. - Prioritising
Self mastery, like all good things, requires time and practise. You will need to create space for this and consciously prioritise it into your day until you reach the unconsciously competent phase and it is second nature.So pick your one or two things for the week to work on and write them down where you can see them often. Then at the end of the day, perhaps just before you leave for your commute, reflect on where you did well or where you could improve. Celebrate your wins and resolve to try again tomorrow if you didn’t quite get there.Integrating self mastery does not happen by magic. Attending a workshop means nothing if you don’t actually apply what you have learnt. The application takes time, thought and energy. But the pay offs are worth it.
This post is an excerpt from an article originally written by Laura Hamilton for Courageous Leaders.
