Giving and receiving feedback are incredibly challenging conversations for anyone no matter how skilled and how emotionally conscious. It is a topic I have discussed in a previous blog about our natural response to then label those giving the feedback – particularly if it is not as positive as you’d like.
This was confirmed in a recent experience as I facilitated conversations about behaviour and performance in a group workshop activity. I found myself beginning to be labelled and almost blamed for the actions and responses of others. Fortunately it was the wise words of a participant that caught everyone’s attention when he claimed, “we need to stop blaming Mandy and finding excuses for the way we behaved – all she did was hold up a mirror and we haven’t liked what we saw!”
It was an insightful comment – and is the best way of visualizing such conversations. When giving feedback, remember people may not like what the mirror reflects so be patient, be kind and remain vigilante with your focus and your truth.
When receiving feedback, remember to see the mirror as a precious gift that presents fabulous opportunity if you let it. In most cases, the person giving the feedback is trying to help you grow, learn and improve. Pushing back on them and not heeding (or hearing) the truth of the conversation only impedes your progress as a courageous leader.
Courageous leaders know that giving and receiving feedback are the conversations you have to have if you want truly inspiring and trusted relationships – because we know we reap what we tolerate!
