People are not actively encouraged receive feedback effectively with reflection. To use reflection is to step away and think about the feedback they have just listened to so they can “reflect” on what they want to choose to do with it. Too often people resort to their impulsive reaction rather than their conscious choice.
To undertake such reflection we need a disciplined and rigorous approach and we recommend using these questions based on the reflective thinking model created by Edward de Bono. Take 15 to 30 minutes to ask yourself these questions:
1. Big Picture
Identify what I hoped to OR have learnt from this person
What skills/behaviours have they identified that are core to my picture of “ideal self”
What is essential to my career and/or progression
2. What happened during the feedback session?
Record everything you recall from the conversation:
- specific details received
- energy and passion exuded
- type of language used
3. What positive things did you learn about your skills and performance?
Refer back to the big picture and the:
- Questions you directed to the person you were seeking feedback from; OR
- Insights and impacts shared by the person who decided to give you feedback.
Record the positive things you learnt about your performance from the conversation
4. What skills need to develop further and what didn’t work so well with your performance?
Use this same focus to record what didn’t work so well and what specific skills have been shown to need further development
5. How did you feel before, during and after receiving the feedback?
Record your feelings before, during and after the conversation
6. Look back at everything you have recorded and decide if you want to accept of ignore the feedback you listened to
Think about the perceptions you created and the impact these will have if you choose to ignore the feedback. Then think about the energy and focus you need to accept the feedback and take action – are you prepared to do this?
Also think about the intent of the person giving you the feedback and the support they are prepared to continue giving so you can change your level of performance.
Finally proceed to the next checklist in next week’s blog to answer the question: do I want to accept the feedback?
