We recently posted an article on interrupting on my LinkedIn Profile and it created some interest and sparked further thinking for me too.
Got me thinking about this phenomenon – many leaders do it without any consciousness, others do it to protect and enhance their egos and then others do it because of their impatience to share what they are thinking……..and I am certain there are many other reasons that each of you can reveal in conversation with your colleagues and team members.
I strongly believe that no matter the reason it should be totally unacceptable for people to interrupt others – unless the building is burning down and lives are at risk! At its very essence it is “rude” and shows a complete lack of respect for the person who is sharing their thoughts.
Think of young children and how we educate them into appreciating that “mummy/daddy is talking now and it is rude to interrupt her/him…………; they progress to school where it is essential to put your hand up when you want to talk and you know the norm is you wait until the teacher indicates it is your turn by calling your name and inviting you to talk”. Then we enter the business world and all of this is thrown out – the loudest voice, the quickest, the rudest, the most quick witted, the deepest sounding (according to some research) does more of the talking and is listened to!
It constantly astounds me when working with managers and leaders how regularly they interrupt each other. When I draw their attention to it quite regularly they are completely unaware of the practice. Bringing consciousness to it is the first step. Then I ask them to notice what triggers them to “want to interrupt” – and we then dive deep to ignite mindfulness and support them to create “coping mechanisms” to change this habit. I know for me I learned to take notes as my “coping mechanism” because one of my triggers was the fear of forgetting my very important thought – so I would interrupt someone else’s very important thought to share my very important thought.
Analysing why we are interrupting we often unfold the selfishness of our action and the underlying assumptions and fears that are driving it.
If interruptions are the norm in your team I suggest you have a conversation to explore the triggers and agree that this practice is no longer acceptable. Look forward to hearing your thoughts and insights into your experiences.
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Hi Mandy, I agree with what your comments but what to do when it is clearly the practice adopted by our leaders? I really dislike being interrupted, especially when I am considering something challenging but it would seem that it has to be the norm. I think it is not conducive to encourage all to think for themselves rather than running to someone else when they find themselves a bit challenged and find a quick answer. I like to schedule times for discussion but again, this practice is not common practice in my office. A further observation: people appear to think it is OK for them to start talking to me without even mentioning my name / calling for my attention or making sure I can see them (i.e. they are sitting on their chair on the other side of a partition!)