We explored this recently: people want to feel significant in their roles, in their organisation and in their lives – and do we know what makes people feel significant?
Courageous Leaders invest the time and energy to discover what makes each individual in their team feel significant. When was the last time you found out what makes each person in your team, in your family and in your life…….feel significant?
While engaging in a conversation with some of our participants about what makes them feel significant – it got me thinking: what makes me feel significant as a facilitator of leadership development programmes?
Ask yourself the question – what makes me feel significant? – and then be surprised by the depths at which you have to go to come up with an authentic response.
The question brought out my values at a deep level. My top value is gratitude and after some reflection I was able to establish that for me to feel significant, I need words of gratitude in an authentic and heartfelt way about the difference my involvement has made. It is simple and relatively easy to do from a client perspective and does not cost money.
And to my surprise after participating in this conversation I received two lovely emails from two different clients doing just that………and I felt significant, I felt recognised and valued. I felt I had made a difference and contributed to the organisational change being experienced. What an amazing feeling it is too!! It spurs your passion, your commitment to the end goal and to keep contributing exceptional value to people who are grateful for your efforts.
Significance rarely costs leaders or others anything other than the time and energy it takes to appreciate, show gratitude and recognise – and generally this is done through a real conversation! If it is so “simple” why do so many leaders find it so hard to do?
Too many leaders focus on the hard edge of leading – task orientation – and dismiss the soft edge of leading – people orientation; as the warm and fuzzy stuff that is not essential. In all honesty though, I think they find it too hard to engage in a real conversation where the significance of people is recognised. It is uncomfortable, it is embarrassing or at worst they deem it unnecessary because after all aren’t they just doing their job?
I find that very sad – human connection and personal gratitude – the personal cost to give it is so small and yet the personal reward to receive it is so great. So make a conscious effort to make those around you feel significant!
Now I can almost hear a groundswell of people challenging me – that people create their own reality and therefore their own feelings of significance. It shouldn’t be up to the leaders to do this I hear you say.
I believe it is critical we recognise our “human condition” – and the need for feeling significant and how it is fuelled through external feedback. That’s the simple reality – most of us are not well enough evolved and transformed to feel significant without such encouragement and involvement.
Courageous Leaders make people they interact with feel significant!
