Bring a positive intent for yourself and for the other people engaging in the conversation and you build the relationship you strive for – one of strength. To bring this kind of intent engage with your heart – decide what is important and let this drive the language you choose. Allow yourself to be vulnerable and share things to expose the real you. To do this you need to drop your ego – the part of you that likes to ensure you “look good” regardless of the impact on your relationships. Your ego encourages you to look good, save face and refrain from looking like a loser….and so you choose to take flight or to fight – or put another way you are driven to violence or silence! 
The ego and our fear stops us from engaging in the real conversations we need to ensure we build deep and trusted relationships.
Recently I found myself in the back of an ambulance and admitted into Emergency – and upon returning home it would have been very easy for my husband and I to shift into silence and pretend we were not feeling the fear we both felt so deeply …and instead we have had numerous conversations, created deep vulnerability and trust.
This cannot happen in business I hear you saying….and I want to share that yes it can when the other person is prepared to speak from the heart too. This may take time and great persistence so the person is prepared to bring this level of vulnerability. And I heard today how many business people don’t do this for fear of being taken advantage of! This is the fear that needs to be overcome to progress our relationships to a place of great strength.
My husband (and business partner) have had numerous vulnerable conversations with our new business partner, Karen – we have talked about all of the real things and issues facing us very openly. We have shared our fears and our hopes! And this has been done in the context of business…..so yes it can be done in business. It all comes down to the stories you run in your head……can’t be honest and real because they will take advantage of me!
I recently spoke from the heart when I met with a C-Suite team member who had participated in a Courageous Leaders leadership development program – we shared very openly and with great vulnerability about our experiences, our hopes for the future and our concerns about on-going development and growth. It was liberating, it connected us and I walked away knowing I had an incredibly strong relationship with him.
Speak from the heart and you engage in a very real way with each other. You create the exponential possibilities.
