As humans our hard wiring directs us to protect ourselves – the research of Jane Goodall demonstrates this is why we have evolved so successfully as a species. For example – we are bush walking, hear something rustle and we judge it is a snake or something dangerous and make a move to protect ourselves.
So we need to recognise that our immediate compulsion is to “judge” with an intent to protect. And for those of us with a preference for extraversion this unfortunately escapes our brains, to our lips and then to words expressed to those around us with great speed and often with great regret.
For those with a preference for introversion they are at risk of judging those with extraversion – because their natural immediate response is to process and reflect on the information before responding verbally – and they expect that others have done the same.
What if we could make it OK to know that this can be the first reaction – take a breath, approach the immediate response with empathy and curiosity. Do this and then together we could determine the next step – and this requires the dropping of immediate judgement.
How fabulous the relationships we would build using this strategy would be – try it out and let us know!!