It is always worth remembering that when you are on the receiving end of a defensive response it probably means the person delivering this kind of response is feeling threatened. By being cognisant of this you receive their response with greater empathy and frame your response from a place of curiosity.
By bringing curiosity into your response you refrain from judging them and adding “fuel” to the fire that is burning.
It is important to discover what is bringing about the feelings of fear so you can put them at ease. This kind of conscious responding requires self awareness and discipline and is well worth the real conversation you will create.
Try it out next time you receive a defensive response – dive deeper into their response – “I would like to better understand what is driving this response…….I am curious how these feelings have been triggered?”
Try it out and let us know how you go.
